Helen’s Ethnography Blog

SL 2: Real life and Second Life taboo

Posted by: hb291101 on: September 15, 2008

So I went back to dominatrix land. The outfits worn here were quite amazing, and inspire me to change my outfit. I’m not quite sure how to find different clothing, but I felt a little out of place. I was an observer in a virtual world, not just observing what was going on from the other side of my computer screen, but I felt like I was observing within the computer screen. I was a bystander, watching theses crazy costumed characters role play. Or were they role playing? Was this really a dominatrix portraying her real self in SL, and were thesse really her subs? Or are these just people who want to experience something like that in a virtual world but wouldn’t dare in the real world?

The language and rules the dominatrix used was what I expected any domme to use. She wouldn’t allow a sub do anything unless she told them too. If they did, they would get a lashing. AND believe it or not, the whip that she had actually made a real sound and actually brought the sub to his knees. (She only had male subs).

Curious, I told her I wanted to learn. She spits back at me some rules of being a dominatrix and told me I had to be serious about it, and the number one rule is: A domme never subs. Fine with me. That whip is s-c-a-r-y. I can already feel myself so involved in SL, that I think a whip is scary. It’s not a real whip; but I’ll be damned if I piss this woman off. I felt bad for the characters that were being whipped. Shouldn’t this occur behind closed doors? I suppose SL is the closed door. And I can only assume that the subs and dommes, and people in this land of scaryness are by themselves on a computer somewhere. I doubt that anyone would want to advertise this kind of abuse. I’m curious to know: Does what is taboo in real life remain taboo in Second Life?

2 Responses to "SL 2: Real life and Second Life taboo"

I enjoyed reading your obsevations and interactions as a ‘domme-in-training’ in SL. I can completely relate to this uneasy feeling you have in the environmnnet…at what point are these interactions ‘real’ or ‘role-playing’…at what happens when this line is muddled? I also had the experience (on my first day no less!) of having an avatar take me on his wings and introduce me to things that were typical of his subculture. Perhaps he wanted to hook up with me. Perhaps he was just being nice. I’ll never know. But what I do know is that by me ‘playing along’…I made that reach. I held his hand. And on that trip to Oz I went.

As for the ‘taboo’ question…in what sense is S&M play ‘taboo’ in the real world if it (may be) just as complex and layered as any facet of human interaction? Who sets the rules? Who imposes the limits? To challenge an assertion by my collegue Trout Esquire, SL is more than just a “playground for the elite”…its a real ‘playground’ of human ticks, tendencies, and practices…beyond what Linden Labs can ground as ‘legal’…its pretty much unfiltered in my eyes. Sure, the door is ‘closed’…but its nearer to you than any S&M club. And that’s what makes it equally tantalizing and uncomfortable of an experience to be part of…if you choose to frequent those spaces.

cool meeting a Dominatrix ….
maybe there are closed doors in second life too….but they are just a little more transparent….

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  • jasonpine: that's a good way to "flesh" out Hayles discussion of posthumanism -- through the concrete lived examples of 'media interpellation' that Shaviro allud
  • jason pine: it might be interesting to examine more closely the unique experience of avatar sex and the sensory/aesthetic experience it provides users. There may
  • chelseyhauge: Hey Helen- I like the way you write. I just wanted to comment that perhaps we cannot ever get out of our selves in order to not be authors of our ava

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